Satirical News Roundup
Keeping up with “American Democracy”; Season 59, Episode 156
The hit television show, American Democracy, has once again lost its plot.
After the train wreck of last season, which ended with the villain of the story beating everyone who stood against him, showrunner D. N. See suggested that this season would be much more fulfilling. Given the quality of the show has gradually fallen over its 230 year run, we didn’t put much stock in the declaration. People seem to be watching out of habit more than anything else, after all, and the writers have lost their motivation to make it good. Three-fourths of the way through the 59th season, that steady decline is holding true.
A lot happened over the last week, so it’s forgivable if you lost track of some of the details. Here’s a general recap of the most scandalous things, listed in no particular order:
For at least the second time, Mayor Pete (played by Pete Buttigieg) suggested that he isn’t polling well with Black people because they’re more homophobic than any other group. That he said while ignoring the frustrations that his own parishioners have expressed to him and remaining completely ignorant of the fact that he has done nothing to entice Black voters. Julián Castro (played by Julián Castro) and the Prosecutor (played by Kamala Harris) both called out Mayor Pete for singling out voters without proof.
Liz Warren (played by Elizabeth Warren) made a billionaire cry. “I care,” Old Billionaire said as he wiped his face with money. Who will think of the poor billionaires?
An aide for the Democratic Billionaire (played by Tom Steyer) was accused of stealing the Prosecutor’s South Carolina volunteer data. I’m not sure what the data could be used for, but it seems serious given the aide resigned.
Joe (played by Joe Biden) has been surprisingly quiet. He did poke his head out to say that Liz Warren was elitist for suggesting that he’s a Republican, but he hasn’t drawn much attention otherwise. The same applies to Bernie (played by Bernie Sanders).
Beto (played by Robert Francis O’Rourke) dropped out! RIP the Beto campaign. There has never been a character on the show who put his dirty shoes on food counters in public, and hopefully there won’t be one ever again.
Outside of the election storyline, the rest of the episode was just as wild and even harder to pin down. The top subplots are listed below:
As scientists are stressing the dangers of climate change, America starts the process of resigning from the Paris Climate Accords. The country is taking the piecemeal approach to destroying life as the characters know it, which doesn’t seem terribly realistic.
Revolutions are happening everywhere outside of the U.S., which suggests that even more of that spirit might bleed into America. Viva la revolución.
The impeachment proceedings are still happening, and it’s difficult to tell how they’re going. All evidence continues to support the original accusation, and Rudy Guiliani (Trump’s lawyer) has recently acquired three attorneys of his own.
There was a lot to this week, with every minute being filled with so many plot twists that it’s difficult to pin any of them down. What is likely playing out as a fun experience for those in the writers room is turning out to be borderline unwatchable for viewers; there’s just too much going on, and at this point, no plot point pays off the way it should.
For our sake, maybe this season would go better if American Democracy culled some of the drama. The show has never been perfect, nor will it ever be, but at some point, it needs to settle into a more manageable rhythm. Hopefully, this season – or, honestly, this show in general – manages to recover from what has been an undeniable reduction in quality. If it doesn’t, maybe it’s time to reboot American Democracy and give it the overhaul the audience seems to want.